One of the most beautiful scariest acts in the world is to trust another with the care and upkeep of your heart..in hopes that they will treat it in such a way that you will experience all that it really needed..you know what you may want but, another may actually give you what you need..out of the heart flows the issues of life..whatever it has experienced or endured creates it’s beats of life..hurt cuts deep but, teaches a lesson…joy nourishes and gives restoration..the only way to truly feel it’s capabilities..you have to hand it over..
That in itself is mind blowing..because it’s really out of your control..you can tell or even show someone how you want to be treated and valued but, it’s up to them to do so..it’s their choice..and that leaves you in a limbo of the unknown..will they honor you, respect you, prioritize your opinion and feelings..or will they take it lightly in a way that works in their benefit and in their timing..this is what it means to love..to be out in the open exposed and vulnerable..wanting to be seen and heard for who you are and what you feel you deserve..
We go into relationships with preconceived ideas of love..based on movies, books, discussions and thoughts of life..and when we decide to take a chance in someone..they don’t know their either living up to a fantasy or living down reality..to be seen ..is what we all really want ..see my dreams..see my desires..see my weaknesses, see my strengths, see my heart and please don’t judge..
What About Trust…
Trust..a word that carries the weight of the world in it..and when it is broken that world comes tumbling down..we’ve heard the comparison of trust to a sheet of paper that’s balled up and then straightened out..the paper is still usable but, no longer wrinkle free..as with the heart..broken trust damages a heart in such a way that leaves a scar unlike any other..the heart is still very usable but, the damage has been done..the heart knows what the heart knows..
Can you love again..can you be loved again..of course..and, some times by the very one that hurt you in the first place..that in itself is amazing..forgiveness is precious and purposeful..it’s needed in order to have a life of peace..enabling you to live and be free..live life and open yourself up to potential and possibilites..shutting down limits who you really are able to be..puts you in a box that wasn’t made for you to live in..
My Life..My Love…
Value who you are..what you deserve..and choose someone who will value that even more than you do..your life matters..your love matters..and the world needs you at your best..don’t allow failure in love change who you are or who you were created to be..allow it to encourage you to be more than you ever dreamed you could be..
Marriage can and will be hard..I know that maybe daunting to some newlyweds…lol…but, hear me out…when you were younger you may have dreamed of how the right person that was made for you would come along and sweep you off your feet..our you would hear the angels sing out in confirmation..this beautiful moment you both share when the question is asked..”Would you marry me?’..surrounded by friends and loved ones as you join as one before God..dancing the night away as you were whisked off to the honeymoon of your dreams..and this may have happened for some and that is wonderful but, for most of us..this is not the way we started out and that is just as wonderful..I know for us personally we started out as a eighteen and nineteen year old couple who swore they knew what they were getting into…parents and friends who warned us to wait and that we were taking on a lot but, yet still in the end showed us unconditional love and support…
Growing Together…
We literally grew up in our early adulthood together..neither of us really experiencing life outside of our parents homes..when we were married that was our first time living with another besides our immediate families..and of course we had this fantasy of the perfect little life in the perfect little home..but, reality was a different story..we struggled with bills and each other..the youthfulness and immaturity was still there..there were things and habits that we weren’t yet ready to let go of..and it put a strain on our marriage and inevitably sowed seeds that would lay dormant and sprout up later in life..and some things that grew into full robust trees..that took a lot of pain staking work to cut down and not only cut down but, remove from the root so that they wouldn’t ever bloom again.. we both had a lot of growing up to do..but, I believe even if we would have married later in life we still would have had emotional baggage..I mean don’t we all..
Who To Unpack…
We each come into a new relationship with standards, boundaries and expectations..what we will and will not do..what we will and will not put up with..then love gets involved and the whole plan goes willy nilly..lol..and we find ourselves doing and accepting things that we thought we never would..sure no one wants a spouse that cheats on them..but, love will have you offering forgiveness even when your head is telling you..”You’re crazy”..but, you will be willing to fight for the one who may not be perfect but, perfect for you..we each have our own baggage that life has handed us..some of it may be small travel bags and others may be full trunks that need bellhop assistance..lol…but, when we find the one who is willing to help let go of those things that we have had a grip on for life..that weigh us down emotionally and/or physically..who help us carry the load until we are ready to put them down..then we know we have who we need…
One + One = One…
Take two people who have grown up differently, matured differently and learned life differently and put them under the same roof and now they have to move forward together…yeah, not so easy…just think of the little things..I personally was raised with putting ketchup in the cabinet..with him it went in the refrigerator..that’s a difference right there..do we comprise or do we buy two bottles of ketchup..(it’s been kept in the cabinet for 26 years now by the way :)…there are some many factors that have to now work as a cohesive unit in order to see and experience real progress…marriage isn’t some thing that you can fake..not, if you want it to deepen and develop..you have to be willing to put in the work if you want to enjoy the fruits of the labor..
50/50 Where?…
Marriage requires striving to give 100% in all areas…will we fail..of course..more than once..but, we will also be amazed in the areas that we flourish and shine…we have to play on each other’s strengths..whoever is better with the fiances..let them handle majority of it..if one is better with the day to day household activities allow them to take the reins..but, still being an active part in the process..I know for one I like to straighten up..but, my husband likes to deep clean and I have no problem whatsoever with this gift God has given him..lol…seeing each other as equal partners with one goal in mind…which is to create a life where you both are heard, respected, valued and loved is key…there are no lesser roles or parts…each piece is just as important as the next..
Standing Alone…
Some times you may feel like your alone even while married..yes, you can sleep with what feels like a stranger..loneliness has no barriers..our spouse maybe having their own personal struggles that may cause them to pull away or even lash out..divorce may even be lingering in the air..but, it’s a choice of what to do..do you fight or flight..it’s hard to see clearly when tears maybe burning your eyes..hands don’t find it easy to comfort when they are being put up to emotionally defend..love maybe strained when the one you attached love to chooses to hurt you…been there..didn’t like it, but held on to things getting better…and, what was my saving grace.. my relationship with the Lord. Jesus Christ..in all complete honestly..I won’t claim it was self help..it was God plain and simple..we both have stood alone until we learned how to stand together…
Hard, But So Worth It…
Every day is not a walk in the park..but, our view can be..we can choose to look at this for the long haul or we can have a back up plan just in case it doesn’t work..(which in my personal opinion is planning for failure)..I choose to give all that I have..to love hard and wholeheartedly..to invest with everything I have in me..if I’m giving him what he wants and he’s giving me what I want (and he is..lol) then we both are being satisfied and that’s what it’s all about..a satisfied life as husband and wife..
I’m at that place in life where my heart wants to travel everyday but, my finances are saying..”Um, Girl Stop!” Lol…and that’s okay..because, everyday life is what you make it..I know it’s so easy to look at the life of others online and feel like they have it all together..or just having the time of their lives each and everyday..but, we don’t know the behind the scenes of what it took to present that picture to the world..it’s some amazing Instagram couples that I follow and I swear all their pictures look so exotic in what has to be some of those most beautiful places on earth..but, that does’t take away that life is still true to itself..they may have traveled to these places..but, jet lag may still be a factor..trying to maneuver themselves through a country they don’t know can be stressful or even dangerous…and it’s not to put their life down because full time traveling is what I look forward to..it’s just to say that it is more to it than what meets the eye..everything is..
I have to remember that while my heart my ache for more.. life here and now is just as amazing..and, where I am now is a place where I use to pray to be..I won’t ever get to a place where I’m ungrateful for how far God has brought us..I see more but, I also know to cherish the provided..I smile in thinking that I have a life that is stable..my marriage, children and health..and, if things start to weigh on me it’s because I’ve started to focus on the wrong things..timing is very important..and, I’ve learned to respect it..because it allows you to grow and mature..and, hopefully not make some of the same mistakes you once fail prey to..
By definition per Merriam-Webster…a strong longing for or impulse toward wandering..to move..not exactly toward a destination..but, the act in itself..I have never considered to apply this wonderment to myself seriously really until these last couple of months..even though there has been evidence of it ever since I was a child..I guessed it started with the way my parents made sure we took some sort of family vacation every summer..I remember the excitement in the build up of buying vacation clothes..the restlessness of the night before leaving..at that time we didn’t have access to the internet as we do now..so, everything was either read in books or seen on television..all I knew that I was so excited to see things I never saw..to be with my family..and definitely to get away from school..lol..
I had no idea how much it cost my parents..as I look back now..I can see the extra overtime my Dad put in to assure his family had memories that would last a lifetime…my Mom prepping us all for the trip and talking things through with us..making sure we really understood the reason behind our adventures..I can recall purchasing souvenirs from the little shops..I believe everyone collected either shot glasses, or spoons during the 70/ 80’s..lol..anything that had a shell glued to it could be found in our home..I even had little flags I hung on my wall from the theme parks we visited..
I use to walk around my backyard at times bare feet in the cool grass..taking in the world around me..listening to the birds..closing my eyes and feeling the sun upon my skin..climbing trees to look at the shed shells of the Cicadas Bugs..my heart wondered..It was a longing in me to go..where I didn’t know..but, I knew whatever it was.. it was calling me..And, I knew one day I would answer that calling..
As, a child the unknown scares you..because, it really doesn’t give you answers or directions..and the world seems so vast..especially when you stare up at the stars..my husband and I talked about that..how he would look up at the stars and wonder how his life would we..I believe everyone has similar moments throughout life..and this wonder has purpose..God placed it in us for a reason
My husband and I wanted to make memories with our kids as well..rather on a big or small scale..we were blessed to be a part of trips with our extended families..allowing our kids to grow up with their cousins and see new things together..I’m sure they will have their own stories to share with their little ones one day..hopefully we sparked a interest of travel in them as well..
Now, we are actually taking life into our own hands and answering that call to wander together as adults who now have the means( still working though..lol) wisdom and the courage to enjoy life without limits or hesitation..where we may go..who knows..but, are we going…most definitely 🙂
Some times you just have to change your plans..Our plans were to ride out of town today but, things changed..my husband worked until 2:30 and I was stuck for about a hour trying to find something to wear..you ever had one of those days..where you have everything yet, nothing to wear..lol..when mentally you know what you want to wear but, your body is like nope, not today.. I pretty much quoted Jim Carey “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” the entire time…
So, once my husband decided what he would wear..I finally decided on the first outfit I initially started with because it matched his (yes, I’m that wife..lol) but, guess what happened as I sat down in the car to leave..I heard the stitching in my pants give as I sat down..yep, I RIPPED MY PANTS..and, while it wasn’t ripped all the way up..it was enough that I wasn’t about to go out and take a chance and embarrass myself…so, back in the house to change once again..( insert internal cry😥)
In outfit number #311 we finally were on our way…now, the never ending dialogue amongst couples.. ” Where are eating?”…”I don’t know, where you want to go?”…suggestion, suggestion, and some more suggestions…of not saying what you want to eat but, just knowing what you don’t want to eat..until finally you both come to some type of agreement. because all you know or sure is that your hungry…
We settled on going to one of our local islands which is about 20 minutes away from our house…if you’ve never been to St. Simons Island you may just want to look into it..there are lovely hotels, plenty of restaurants with fresh local seafood..shops and also a pier..some have known to retire and relocate here or even own vacation homes..
Our restaurant of choice was “Del Sur”.. Argentinian & Italian Artisan Eats… located at 321 Mallery St..we’ve been here once before and decided to try them out again..this time with out the children who only wanted Chicken Alfredo 😐
I was personally impressed by the cozy atmosphere..it boasts in being an intimate eatery and it does have an outdoor patio..there were all types of people dining from families to singles..and, the attire more semi causal based and locale and decor..it has an open kitchen for cooking viewing at the bar..multiple seating tables..it’s not very big and can fill up quickly and only has one shared bathroom…but, the staff was friendly and inviting and the food was delicious..
I decided on the Chicken Piccata and Linguine Sauce since I had Steak last night and he decided on the Lamb with Grilled Vegetables…I’m not a big fan Al Dente pasta but, I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be…I tend to overcook my pasta..blame it on my childhood we overcook everything to make sure it’s done..lol..he really enjoyed the Lamb..nothing left but, the bones..and they kept the bread and sweet tea coming..
Walking around in the brisk night air we stopped into St. Simons Sweets…where I would usually get ice cream but, not tonight though..lol..and, even if we didn’t get anything it was still a beautiful sight to see..it’s filled with chocolates, caramels, and nostalgia sweets..and plenty of anticipating customers…
And, our last stop was into a shop that is always so well lit and uniquely displayed..”Gallery, Gifts, & Antiques”…we love walking through mentally buying things that we see…lol..my husband said their shop is what happy looks like :)..
If your ever in our neck of the woods maybe you will partake in our little Island…see some sights…get to know some of the locals..or try one of the many restaurants…our pace of life maybe a tad bit slower..but, that just allows you to savor it just that much more..
The South……. Where the tea is sweet…our words are long…the days are warm and our faith is strong
For Christmas, my husband and I received multiple gift cards from some very lovely people..who thought we may enjoy a treat on them.. and we were more than happy to oblige..lol..we were trying to figure out how and exactly when we were going to use these wonderful blessings..and, we decided hey, why not use them for a gift card date night 🙂 we really strive to go on a date night every Thursday..I mean if I’m being honest we date just about every chance we get..no matter the day of the week ;)..but, Thursdays especially..unless work just has to be done or we’re both fine with just staying in..which still counts as a date in my books..we get dressed up..pick a movie or a restaurant..or we may even do something totally new..which led to last nights adventure..let’s use our new found wealth to fund our fun…Could we stay within the allotted amount? What would we decide on in each place? How would this date differ from the ones we’ve been on together before? Does free make things better? LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Our designated night of excitement was found on these three cards.. And, I really thought this through…the plan..(keep in mind the date started around 7:30 ) 1. Panera Bread $10.. for the sweets 2. Lowe’s $30..yes, Lowes…lol! 3. BoneFish Grill $50..woo-hoo Our first stop would be to Panera thinking it would be the first one to close..and the objective was clear..we had to go in..and, why you may ask? because you really can’t experience the goodness that is Panera Bread’s bakery from the drive thru…miss that beautiful scrumptiousness…I think not…we could purchase some of their sweet goodies for after dinner and maybe even a muffin for breakfast on Friday morning..
Just look at this…doesn’t it make your mouth just want to know them up close and personal..I mean my husband purchased three of the chocolate chipper muffies and he’s never even tasted one before..add two chocolate chop cookies and one blueberry muffin and our total was $13.74..yes, we went over..why, because we went in thinking we had $15 instead we had $10 and we did’t find out until we went to check out..MY Bad 😦 but, we paid that $3.74 difference and just kept it moving..I mean just look at this…
Our next stop was Lowe’s…now, we knew this would be a challenge in itself…because what in the world could you buy on date night from Lowe’s..I mean we had $30 just waiting to see…we went in brainstorming and laughing about what we could possibly find..lights, fixtures, tools…we had no idea..lol
I was thinking maybe something for our master bedroom…or a new shower head for our master bathroom..but, the one I spotted was out of our price range..we walked around some looking on just about every isle..and, my husband (Alvin) suggested maybe a new doormat…I know this doesn’t scream date night..but, here we were..on the way to the doormats we spotted mailboxes..we knew we needed one because ours has been gansta leaning ever since someone bumped it (not, calling any names) after checking the doormats and not finding any that spoke to us..we decided on a larger mailbox..for the benefit of shipping and receiving larger mail ( I have a reseller business as well)..
This time we stayed within our budget…yeahhhh!!! Spending a total of $27.26..on a investment that will be a part of our life that leads to more income for our dreams..and, the things that we want to do together..I know the Lowe’s cashier who saw us walking around multiple times was wondering what in the world we were doing..lol..but, we achieved our goal..one date night mailbox..CHECK!
Our last destination was BoneFish Grill located on Saint Simons Island…the last time we went there it was amazing..so we were hoping for a repeat performance…we wanted to finish the night off right..by this time we definitely were ready to eat..I’m not really big on seafood but, my husband is…I knew I would find something..Chicken or Steak..you could never go wrong with those two..
I’ve always enjoyed the decor of restaurants..the atmosphere of breaking bread with the one you love..it always gives me a sense of peace to be with him in moments of life..never knowing how exactly the night will go..but, knowing ever since our first date he has been the best company to be with..our waiter seemed a little nervous..and I’m not sure if he just started or what..but, he tried his best..he went out his way to make sure he tried to provide us with what he felt we wanted..he tried multiple times to light the burner to keep the butter warm and even though he didn’t quite get it…we appreciated the effort..we ate what seemed like twelve loaves of Bread with Dipping Oil as we waited for dinner to arrive..(it was so good)..I settled on Steak, Asparagus, and Garlic Mash Potatoes (which was amazing)..and, he ordered what was called Imperial Lobster..which was stuffed with Scallops, Shrimp, Crab Meat, Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese with Lemon Caper Butter..with Jasmine Rice and Garlic Mash Potatoes…I knew he loved it when he closed his eyes and paused..lol..we are both people who appreciate good food..
Of course I had to take my bathroom selfie that I do in most restaurants we eat in..lol
The only downfall about the restaurant was that the floor was extremely sticky.(don’t tell my daughter that though.. I borrowed her shoes for the night..lol).but, that’s not the first restaurant we’ve been in that this was the case..so, oh, well…overall we had a wonderful dinner and we really enjoyed the meal and the atmosphere..minus the floors :)..our total for dinner was $52.88..so, we went over a tad..plus the tip..but, hey who’s complaining…would we return..most definitely…
So, I believed we accomplished what we set out to do..we had an awesome night without spending little to no money..a total of $16.62…we laughed, we shared, we ate, we drank..and we enjoyed each others company… isn’t that what dating while your married is all about..were looking for our next adventure of a Gift Carding Goodnight..
So, I guess free does add a little more to it… Who wants to pay? Lol!
As someone who works in the education system I can truly say I have enjoyed this time off..spending time with my family and getting some much needed rest..I look forward to what 2020 will hold for this kindergarten para..I’ve laughed and learned..I’ve seen the need for change and been encouraged by some of the similar routines I remember as a child..Oh, the stories I shall hear as they are welcomed back into the classroom..and, I’ve honestly prayed they were kept safe where ever they were..not, everyone has the life that my personal children live..and that doesn’t make those children lives less valuable..my hopes is that at the end of the year I’ve done my job well..that they are left with the impression that Mrs. Norris loved them and cared for their well being..even those times when she had to be a little tougher..because even telling the truth can be done in love…I hope I’ve given them a sense of wonder of the world..value in themselves..and willingness to always show kindness to others..because we don’t know each others struggles (yes, even kinders have struggles)..we don’t know what weight another is carrying..what mental, physical, or emotional baggage is collecting at their feet that they pick up and lug around with them daily..just think some times when that waitress seems to be disconnected from her job..it could be that she just heard bad news before coming into work..but, she still has to show up and be present in order to provide for her family..I know what it is to be on a job physically there but, mentally some where else..and, that can be a stressful time and you may not give your best..but, any negativity or rudeness of another maybe the last thing they need right now..some may choose not to tip her based on her service for that day..but, I say why not?..do what you would usually would do..because the fact of the matter is what it all comes down to..is not about her but, me..how do I want to treat others..do I want to show grace in hopes that someone will show me mercy in my time of need..or do I want to heap yet another weight upon someone who may already being carrying enough..and I get that may not even be the case..some people just have a challenging personalities..but, we all are the results of our life lived…and those unresolved issues shape and form us to the person we present to the world..but, I’ve found in my 45 years, there is only One that I can truly say that has lifted and sustained me..and given me the strength and fortitude to walk and journey through this life in a way that my scars don’t even show..and, this freedom has allowed me to live a more carefree life..when I cast my cares on Him it reminds me that He cares for me..so, 2020 I welcome you into to this Kinder year..you will be exceptional, fun filled, educational and rewarding..and, those days when I don’t quite feel this way..I will just remember we have more breaks..lol
Awesome read..personally this encourages me..seeing that I only started blogging last month..and have less than 10 followers at the moment..lol..but, I’ve done many of things in my life and I feel it all has led me to blogging 😁
I have started my blogging journey with 2 things in my mind, no, actually 3:
1.To share some of my hobbies like cooking and traveling
2. To bring a smile on readers’s faces
3. And to take it at a certain level and be able to monetize something from it
Now, what I have learned from this journey so far?
I have learned that:
One
I did not expect it to be easy and I am a very organized person but honestly with a full time job for living, I have struggled to find time to share my hobbies.
I don’t know you, but in my case, I have realized that is not so easy to write a post. Is not just that I sit down in front of my computer and start writing. For me writing a post means finding first the topic…
All snacks on deck to ring in the New Year at the Norris’… two adults + two young adult children = cherish these moments because time is a changing..before long our children will have careers and families of their own..and, then it will be time to create more traditions that include their spouses families..my husband and I personally have had awesome relationships with our in-loves (laws)..that’s our prayer for our children as well..that they each carve out this life with someone that not only supports them..believes in them..respects them..cherishes them..makes them laugh..forgives them..and seeks their forgiveness..loves them unconditionally..and sees the need to have God in their marriage….someone who is willing to travel this road of life with them..to help navigate through the tough times and celebrate the good ones as well..there is no place on earth I would rather be then right here with the ones I love bringing in another year..having a good family structure has always been very important to us as parents..we felt the need for a solid foundation in order to give them the best possible chance that we could..to try and live life in a way before them that would give them hope that it’s possible to find love, keep love and succeed at love..sure we have had our own personal setbacks in the past but, in the end our children were part of our motivation to see this thing through..so we will walking into this New Year with determination, hope, strength, a sense of purpose..as we each take on new challenges and grow with change…so, looking forward to what “2020” has for us..GOOD ONLY!
Ever since we started dating we’ve frequently done day trips..Savannah Ga. being among our favorite..(can’t count how many times we have been there) even when our finances didn’t match our desires we still made the best we could with what we had.. I still remember vividly going to St. Augustine for our anniversary with maybe $200 in our pockets..and that turned out to be one of the best trips ever..we walked around rather than burning gas, we scoped out the things that were free admission…and we shared meals..but, the laughs and memories made it seem as if we went with thousands in our pockets instead…since then we have traveled to places we only dreamed about knowing it was a true blessing from God..so, what we started doing was buying a pin (suggested by my husband, thanks babe) to commemorate every where we have been..knowing this would eventually add up to a lot of pins..storage was the question..but, I knew I didn’t want to just put them away in a box..I wanted them to be displayed so we could look back over them fondly..and my solution was pinning them to a chair throw given to us by a sweet lady that once was a visitor to our church..so, that we could easily seem them and eventually place it upon our wall…we only have a handful of pins so far..because we didn’t start this process until later in life..but, I know eventually either we will fill it up…or it can be something we pass along to one of our children and they add their own personal adventures..so, that all who look at it can perhaps say that we were just… “throw”ing our life away…
New Things With The Norris' 